kkm

I’ve been having a bit of writer’s block lately.  It’s like my mind is going in so many directions that I’m finding it hard to focus.  One of the recurring questions that keeps running through my head is – How is it possible that this year is more than halfway over?  We only have 5 more months, and then it’s 2020.  I feel like I was just ringing in the New Year, and now I find myself sitting here still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up… This year started for me with such excitement and anticipation of what my next chapter would be, and now the reality of not having a “real” job is starting to set in.  Self-imposed or not, the pressure is real.  Stress is real. 

I’m quite confident that we all have some form of stress in our lives.  (If you don’t, then please let me know your secret!)  It comes from so many sources – our job (or lack thereof), school, partner, children, finances, or worst of all ourselves.  Sometimes you can remove the cause of your stress, but many times you just can’t.  The question then becomes – How are you going to manage it?  We all have our own methods, and some people are better at managing stress than others.  I feel like I used to be so much better at it than I am currently; and I’m finding now that even little things can significantly affect my stress levels.  Talking it through with my husband, friends, (and therapist), as well as simply writing this out are really helping.  And I’m not too proud to acknowledge that I’ve taken an anti-anxiety/depression med in the past when I’ve needed it, and I think that may help me again with where I am right now.  I know the underlying cause of my stress, so I know what needs to be done.

Ultimately, I need to be realistic about where I actually thought I would be at this point in the year.  Were my expectations too high or even a bit unattainable?  I need to cut myself some slack like I’ve talked about before.  And I need to remind myself of all that I have done so far this year, and of the possibilities that are out there for my next career.  I’ve had so many good conversations, shadowing opportunities, and ideas from friends and acquaintances.  My lifestylist role (fashion, home design, and art consulting) is still something I’m working on, and by starting this blog, I’ve come to realize my love of writing.  I’ve actually been looking into ways to combine them both – perhaps freelance writing about the creative things that inspire me.  So I’m going to keep working towards my goal.  And I’m going to change my mindset as well – we don’t just have 5 months left, we’ve got 5 whole months for something amazing to happen this year!  I hope whatever stresses you may have are easily managed, and that you give yourself some grace if they aren’t.  Let’s all take a deep breath in… hold it… let it out.  Namaste.