kkm

There are so many categories of friends:  Best friends, close friends, good friends, old friends, new friends, work friends, neighborhood friends, family friends, not-really-a-friend (acquaintances), social media friends, friends with benefits… I could go on. Many may overlap, but ultimately, we can put the people we know in at least one of these categories.  I do trust, however and hopefully, that if you have a significant other, then you have zero friends with benefits!  We all have our “inner circle” of friends, which may consist of a handful or less (maybe more), where you can be vulnerable and truly let your guard down; and maybe only one or two of those would you trust with your deepest, darkest secrets.  Most of your close friends more than likely motivate and energize you, while some may drain the energy right out of you (in which case, you are certainly able to demote them).  There are the old but good friends that you may not see or talk to in months or even years, but when you finally do get to connect, it’s like no time has passed, and you pick up right where you left off.  Friends may shift from one category to another over time as well – a new friend becomes a close friend, or a good friend becomes an acquaintance – we’ve all encountered that, fortunately or unfortunately.

Now, however, it seems now that people are becoming more consumed with the social media version of “friend” or “follower”.  The more “friends” the better seems to be the goal.  Does it make us feel accepted, or give us a better sense of self-worth or validation?  I’m not a therapist, but my guess is yes.  Personally, I believe we’re all worthy human beings whether we have 5 or 50,000 “friends”.  As a late adopter to social media, I will admit that I let myself get stressed out about all of that, and I really didn’t see the point of joining in at all.  But, I admit that I’ve been able to connect with some people that I never thought I’d hear from again, and even though we may never be in each other’s inner circle, I couldn’t be happier to have them back in my life!  I’ve also had brief online conversations with people that I don’t think I’ve ever met in person, and I enjoy those “friendships” as well.

I honestly believe cultivating our social media friendships is a great thing, just as long as our focus remains on our real, in-person relationships.  This is where quality beats out quantity every single day.  Any and all of our relationships that we care about need cultivating (can I get an “Amen” from those married/committed folks?).  I want my friends to know that I am always rooting for them, just much as I want them to root for me.  I want them to feel they can laugh with me and cry with me; to know I’ll give the honest truth, even if it isn’t what they want to hear; to know that I won’t judge them, and that their secret is safe with me; but most importantly, to know no matter what, that I’ve always got their back.  So go ahead and send that “friend request” to that person from high school; but then text your close friend… or give them an actual call and completely blow their mind!!